Act 2
Act 3
Act 4


At long last the script of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child has been released!  

I have been a huge Harry Potter fan since I was eight years old. I initially had no interest in jumping on the bandwagon, but my parents made me sit and watch Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone and I became hooked. So, 15 years after that, when I heard there was going to be an eighth instalment to the series I was absolutely thrilled, and I have been patiently waiting for the day when I could get my hands on a copy of the script.

When I say patiently, I mean…not so patiently. I’m normally a fairly patient person but when I’m as passionate about something as I am Harry Potter, that tends to fly out the window faster than a Firebolt. As soon as the previews began in London I was scouring the internet for a detailed synopsis; I just HAD to know what happened. When I found one, I have to admit that I was disappointed. It seemed to me like a bad, unnecessarily convoluted fanfic; a completely bizarre plot that felt more like Doctor Who than Harry Potter.

My excitement dimmed a bit, but I was still keen to get my copy; I desperately hoped that the person who had written this synopsis was lying, just trying to make a fool out of the impatient fans like me who wouldn’t wait for the script release

I got my book on the release date. They weren’t lying – but I loved it.

We begin where Deathly Hallows left off; Harry, Ron, and Hermione at Platfrom 9 ¾, seeing off their children. Albus – who is the titular Cursed Child, poor lad – and Rose – Ron and Hermione’s daughter – make their way onto the Hogwarts Express, and the contrast between the two could not be more obvious. Rose is a confident young lady, who is immensely proud of being a Granger-Weasley, and sees it as her ticket to fitting in at Hogwarts. Albus is less so, and it is easy to see he is a lot meeker than his cousin. Albus decides to join another young lad in his carriage, who just so happens to be Scorpius Malfoy. Rose doesn’t approve because he’s a Malfoy. There’s a rumour that poor little Scorpius is actually Voldemort’s son – apparently Draco and his wife Astoria couldn’t have children, so they sent Astoria back to bump uglies with Voldemort.

Not sure why they wouldn’t have used a sperm bank or literally any other person, but hey, it’s just a rumour – as Rose says,

BANTER.

Anyway, we get to Hogwarts and everyone is instantly comparing Albus to Harry, which is honestly a lot of pressure on an 11-year-old. I mean, I know Harry had a lot of pressure on him too since he defeated the most powerful Dark wizard ever when he was still in nappies like it was no big deal, and his parents were super talented too, but at least he wasn’t surrounded by family members who best him in every way. Anyways, the Sorting Hat sings its song and all the kids try it on. Rose is sorted into Gryffindor, Scorpius into Slytherin, and Albus…SLYTHERIN. DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN.

Suddenly people start to think ‘he’s not that much like Harry’ and turn their backs on him. It’s at this point that I think Harry should probably have talked about how the Sorting Hat tried to Sort him into Slytherin to more people, because rejecting poor little Albus based on this is a little unnecessary.

We are suddenly in a flying lesson and basically Albus is useless, whereas Rose shines. Then SCENE CHANGE, we’re back at Platform 9 ¾ for the beginning of Albus’s second year, and this time he doesn’t want much to do with Harry – in fact, he asks that Harry stands further away from him because he doesn’t want to be seen as Harry Potter’s disappointing son. He tells Harry that he didn’t need to bring him to the station and walks away, which upsets Harry because he wanted to be there –after all, Harry never had his parents there to see him off to school.

Stop being a moody little brat and appreciate your father, Albus!

Draco Malfoy appears and asks Harry to shoot down the rumours that Scorpy is Voldy’s son. Harry says no because that will make the rumour stick. Draco is not happy about this, which is understandable, but Harry sticks to his guns.

After a brief scene to show us the contrast between Rose and Albus again (Rose is on the Quidditch team, yaaaaaay!) we’re back to Platform 9 ¾  for the beginning of Albus’s third year, where he’s telling Harry he doesn’t want to go to Hogsmeade and sets his letter on fire because he’s just SO FULL of teenage angst.

(sorry I brought your Dad into this again, Albus)

If this kid were mine he’d be headed the right way for a smacked bottom. At Hogwarts, his little sister Lily is sorted into Gryffindor, to the surprise of no one.

We join Harry and Hermione at the Ministry of Magic, and here we learn that Hermione is the Minister for Magic! Yaaaaaaas, you go Hermione!

Harry is the Head of Magical Law Enforcement, which smells a bit like nepotism since they are technically family now, but hey, I’m just a Muggle so what do I know? Harry hates paperwork so Hermione is doing it for him which is such a lovely reminder of when she used to do his homework. Harry has found a Time-Turner, which is a shock because, if you recall, he and the gang managed to destroy the entire collection back in Order of the Phoenix. Hermione and Harry discuss how Albus and Rose are getting on at Hogwarts, and Harry can tell things are getting fraught between him and his son.

Hermione gives Harry a friendly reprimand for not doing his paperwork then sends him home. But let’s be honest here, this is Hermione’s fault anyway. If she didn’t do his homework for him at school, maybe Harry would have learnt to have an attention span longer than his wand. You got yourself into this situation Hermione, why give such an important job to such an established procrastinator? You know, that guy who knew he had to go to the bottom of a lake but didn’t try to find a way of doing it until the week before?!

Harry is accosted by Amos Diggory when he gets home, as he has heard Harry has a Time-Turner and wants him to use it to bring Cedric back.

 Harry is hurt but tells Amos time can’t be changed and lies about the Time-Turner.

Albus overhears this and meets Delphi, Amos’s carer and niece, as he snoops on the stairs. Later, Harry goes to Albus’s room to speak with him, but it’s awkward and they both struggle to make conversation. Harry tries to give Albus the blanket he was delivered to the Dursleys in, since he gave his Invisibility Cloak to James, but Albus is less than impressed and they argue about it; Albus turns into a right little brat and says some nasty things, which leads Harry to say that sometimes he wishes Albus wasn’t his son.

Obviously he instantly regrets it but the damage is done. Albus throws the blanket which collides with a love potion Ron gave him (sounds a bit more weird than it actually is when written like that), and he storms off.

In the next scene we learn Harry is having dreams about his past – the first one is about when Hagrid came to get him from the hut on the rock – and we hear Voldemort’s voice saying Harry’s name. Oooooooooooooooooooooh…then…Harry’s scar hurts for the first time in 22 years! DOUBLE OOOOOOOOOOOOOH.

Anyways, the next day on the Hogwarts Express, Albus convinces Scorpius to come with him to see Amos Diggory, so they orchestrate a dangerous escape from the train that involves a really creepy pursuit by the trolley lady who I’m 98% convinced is actually demon spawn. She tries to stop their escape with exploding Pumpkin Pasties.

I’ll take my Chocolate Frog with a big pile of NOPE.

They get to Amos’s care home and it sounds like an amazing place. Old witches and wizards use their magic just for shits and giggles here, though I’m a bit concerned about the poor care wizards that they force to dance the tango. The lads tell Amos they can help him get Cedric back, that Harry lied about the Time-Turner (HE’S JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOU ALL, DAMN IT). He’s sceptical, but Delphi convinces him to do it. And that’s how we’re plunged into a ridiculously wonderful scene involving Polyjuice Potion and a break in to the Ministry of Magic (sounds familiar…) to get the Time Turner. Albus is Ron, Scorpius is Harry, and Delphi is Hermione, and all is going well until the real Hermione and Harry show up. Time for some farce!

Harry and Draco are aware that their sons have disappeared, and Harry is discussing it with Hermione. Delphi and Scorpius hide in Hermione’s office, while Albus as Ron tries to prevent her entering. This scene made me giggle so much, I would love to see it performed!


Inside the office, Delphi, Scorpius, and Albus have to answer a series of riddles involving books before they get to the Time Turner, with the very real risk of being eaten by a bookcase looming over then, and that’s seriously the most Hermione defence I could possibly imagine. They eventually come through, and our plucky young heroes realise what dangers they’re letting themselves in for.

And so we reach the end of Act 1!

A lot of this act is just setting up for the main event, but it’s enjoyable to see how the characters we know and love have evolved other time. I’ve heard someone say that Harry would never say he wished Albus wasn’t his son, but I’m not so sure. Harry is a hot head and always has been, and he’s said things in the heat of the moment before that he has instantly regretted. Don’t forget, we commonly learn how to parents from our own parents, and Harry didn’t get much of that experience. He’s a bit out of his depth here so I could see how he could end up saying this.

Overall though, Act 1 is enjoyable, it has a few shocker moments, but nothing exceptionally spectacular so far.

Next time I’ll continue with Act 2, where there is more magic, more time travel, and more teenage angst! Woooooo!